Fulfillment Comes From Fulfilling a Purpose
Source: By SARAH TRELEAVEN

How to be happy. That’s really what it all comes down to, isn’t it? Even if life has been chugging along at a fairly joyous pace, most of us would admit a little more happy couldn’t hurt. Often all that requires is a gentle reminder of how good we already have it or a simple tweaking of our glass-half-empty perspectives in order to turn the tide. This column will do that just that. Each week, Sarah Treleaven will seek out someone who has gained wisdom and insight into how to live a happier, more fulfilling existence and she will get their best advice.

Brian Klemmer, an international consultant, author and speaker, believes that finding your purpose and exercising compassion are the keys to an abundant life – in both personal and financial realms. In his best-selling book, The Compassionate Samurai: Being Extraordinary in an Ordinary World, Mr. Klemmer describes how to live by the code of the Samurai, which includes an emphasis on personal values and civic service. Here, he explains how thinking big and giving to others is the true measure of success.

Last week: Daniel Nettle, Reader in Psychology in the Centre for Behaviour and Evolution at Newcastle University in England, and the author of Happiness: The Science Behind Your Smile posits that maybe we don’t want to be happy.

Q: Are you happy?

A: Yes, I am happy. I believe happiness is knowing that you are where you are supposed to be. It is being in alignment with your purpose. This is very different than the feeling one has when they accomplish something or buy something new, which I call gratification. Gratification is dependent on circumstances whereas happiness or contentment is not subject to circumstances as one can be in alignment with their purpose EVEN when they have circumstances they don’t like. Pain eliminates gratification but not contentment.

Q: Why are you happy? When was the last time you were happiest?

A: Every day I am happy because I am constantly aligning myself and whatever circumstances I am in to support my purpose of creating bold ethical leaders [who are] committed to creating a world that works for everyone and where no one is left out. If you are talking about the state of gratification, related to circumstances, then I would say the week our graduates donated half a million dollars toward ending violence amongst youth and raised another $127,000 to build homes for the homeless.

Q: What or who is a Compassionate Samurai?

A: The Samurai were feared and respected warriors who lived by a strict code of values and whose life was about service. There is a similar dichotomy between nice people and result-producers. I want people to realize that it is possible to be both. That is what a Compassionate Samurai is: Someone with strong values who can absolutely make anything happen and yet whose whole life is about service.

Q: You acknowledge you live in a big house and drive a luxury car. Do material things make you happy?

A: No, material things do not make you happy. Neither does success. Look at all the famous wealthy people who get messed up on drugs because they are unhappy. But material things are not the problem. Mediocrity is also the height of selfishness. It is saying I have enough for me and I don’t care about you. Being in alignment with your purpose makes you happy and you can do that with or without material things, in good health or poor health, married or single. It is critical to know one’s purpose and to look for a way to align current circumstances to support your purpose.

Q: Why do most people think that material things will make them happy?

A: North Americans have been brainwashed into believing that success is measured by accumulation. This leaves many people, who are compassionate and kind, thinking that in order to be successful we must be greedy and self-centered. I’ve met many people who make large annual salaries but feel unmotivated. It’s because they are selfish. I want to re-define success as making a real contribution in society. Most people feel incomplete and are trying to fill that hole with material things.

Q: How do you reconcile the drive for commercial success with the desire to lead a fulfilled life? Is it possible to be totally ethical and makes lots of money?

A: First of all, the world’s predominant view or definition of success is oriented around consumption, acquisition and accumulation. A Compassionate Samurai has success defined around contribution. A Compassionate Samurai will accumulate things for the purpose of contributing more. Average people accumulate just to accumulate. There are plenty of people who say they are following their purpose but deny commercial success only to be able to serve less people. Ethics or character is actually a key to creating financial prosperity and keeping it. Show me a person, company or country without ethics or character and I will show you one that won’t last. So yes, you can be ethical and create wealth. I want to let people know that it is possible to be a mover and shaker in the business and political world, to enjoy great relationships and the finer things in life, and still be a caring person aware of the needs of others.

Q: You contribute to a number of charitable organizations. Why does giving to others help you to feel happy and fulfilled?

A: Giving and causing thousands of others to give at a bigger level is in alignment with my purpose. I also believe we are all connected – not just in a realm where the human eye can see. So any time one contributes to another, they [have an impact on] themselves and it feels good.

Q: Is it difficult to give when so many people are taking?

A: No. My behavior is not dictated by what others do or what others think of me. I have consciously decided the values and principles I want to live my life by. Compassionate Samurai hold principles above personal gain. Average people hold personal gain above principles.

Q: What advice do you have about being happy and living life to the fullest?

A: Read the Compassionate Samurai and make a practice of applying it. Knowing one’s purpose is a first step. Fulfillment comes from fulfilling a purpose. That’s different than being successful or productive. It is acting from these ten traits of a Compassionate Samurai – such as boldness, personal responsibility, honesty, abundance – that will create an extraordinary life that is fulfilled and happy.

http://lifestyle.aol.ca/article/how-to-be-happier-brian-klemmer/230695/